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  • Writer's pictureVaishali Chakravarty

When I Lied

Updated: Jul 27, 2019

We all do, more or less. But we punish our children for the bad habit and worse- we overlook the reason our child lied for.

I clearly remember the first time I lied. I was 6 and my class teacher had just handed me my unit test report card. I had scored 5 out of 25 in Math. I could neither gather the courage to take the report card home nor to dispose it of somewhere. So, that afternoon, before Maa checked my bag, I buried it under a pile of books and old files in the bookshelf. Weeks passed and poor Maa kept inquiring about the report card and “Ma'am hasn’t given it to us yet,” was all I repeated. One day someone called from school and that was it. My lie was exposed, I was handed down a long lecture and Maa wept for failing to raise her daughter to be an honest person. I was gifted my first label, LIAR.

“ Children lie for various reasons, for example to- - Test a new behavior - Gain attention - Uplift self esteem - Avoid being on the spot -  Avoid getting loved ones worried

In my case it was apparently the reason no. 5, however, later it turned out to be the reason no.1.

I got my tag and I used it well. I lied to teachers, to friends, to random people on the street. I did well. My simple lies could solve not-so-simple problems. It only got better with every lie. There was one more thing that happened to me. I started hating people who lied. Specially my peers, their lies were simple like mine but I would punish them for that. I would expose their lies in public and humiliate them. It gave me pleasure. I was only 16 and I had no fear in calling and dismissing people as LIARS.

I had become a bully. I had turned my low self esteem into another terrible habit. It wasn't a great feeling.

There was one more thing that happened at that time. I started doing theatre, where I would practice some basic drama exercises. For the first time in my life I found a place where I wasn't being judged and didn't feel the need to judge the others. It was a great feeling, I began to understand what I really had been up to and it slowly changed me.

We punish our child for the bad habit and ignore the cause. We label the child and overlook the trigger. In the process we lose our child’s confidence in us, perhaps forever. And when the child grows up a little, we complain of her being aloof, non-communicative and irresponsible.

So what do we do?

It is actually quite simple and just requires a certain amount of awareness. As parents all we need to do is to take a moment to respond to the situation and not react. Your restrained response will assure the child and encourage her to confide in you. Your child will not see any reason to lie to you.

How can drama help?

- It gives your child a secure environment to express whatever they want - It brings forth real life issues through the devised characters - Children play the characters, face these issues and solve them - Positive changes in the conditions of the characters played reassures the child

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1 Comment

Unknown member
Jul 26, 2019

I guess every one has experienced this is life

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